the childhood they deserve

I sometimes/often worry that I'm not giving my boys the childhood they needdeservewantshouldhave.

I long for my idealistic early parenting days when people complimented me on what a good mom I was and our living room was sprinkled with gentle, beautiful Waldorf toys rather than Legos and light sabers. (While some could rightfully say I've caved and given in, there are people in my life who I'm sure are glad that my inner holier-than-thou dogmatic parent has been humbled and taken down a notch as I continue on my parenting journey.) Some days I focus on where I've fallen short, and how far the day-to-day reality of our lives seems to stray from the ideal I'd like to create.

But then I come across a photo like this one, taken a couple of years ago at my parents' house, and I remember that sometimes, on some precious days and for at least a few moments, they are having the childhood I would wish for them.

boys on dock, just lookin'